Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Title: Ugly
Author: Margaret McHeyzer
Genre: YA/NA

 Release Date: October 26, 2015

If I were dead, I wouldn't be able to see.

If I were dead, I wouldn't be able to feel.

If I were dead, he'd never raise his hand to me again.

If I were dead, his words wouldn't cut as deep as they do.

If I were dead, I'd be beautiful and I wouldn't be so...ugly.

I'm not dead...but I wish I was.

*This is a dark YA/NA stand-alone, full-length novel.

Contains violence.

I feel him walking around the house. The floorboards creak, moving with his footsteps. Vibrations are traveling through the floor to where I’m sitting. I close my eyes tighter, and try and hum as quietly as I can.

Please go away, Daddy. Please go away.

My heart is beating fast, and my hands are shaking. I’m trying really hard not to think about what’s going to happen the minute he opens the door.

It’s so quiet now. The only sound is my heart thrumming in my ears. Nothing else. Not a whisper, not a rattle…nothing.

Maybe Daddy’s left, maybe he’s gone to the pub to have a few drinks. Maybe, just maybe, he’s left…forever.

I take a deep breath and just relax for a moment. My shoulders drop and I finally stop rocking. Slowly, I take my hands down from my ears, and I’m so happy because I can’t hear him yelling at me. I can’t hear him at all.

Gradually I begin to unscrunch my eyes from the way I’ve tightly closed them. But something’s not right. There’s light coming into the cupboard.

I don’t even get a chance to open my eyes fully when a rough hand reaches in, latches onto my ponytail and rips me out of the cupboard.

“I told you it’d be worse for you if I had to find you,” Dad says as he drags me by my hair. I’m desperately trying to hold onto my head so he doesn’t rip my hair out, while my feet try to find traction on the dirty floorboards.

“Please, Daddy. Please. You’re hurting me,” I begin sobbing, pleading with him to stop.

“Then your ugly ass should’ve come when I called you. You stupid bitch, you’re a fucking worthless, ugly idiot,” he says. But now his voice is calm as he continues to drag me toward the family room.

That’s when he’s most scary. When his voice is low and his eyes are filled with hate. He throws me against the side of the sofa and takes a step back to look at me.

I look up and can see he’s angrier than I’ve ever seen him. “You dumb, ugly piece of shit,” he says as he paces back and forth in front of me.

“Sorry, Daddy. Whatever I did, I’m so sorry.” I curl into myself, defensively trying to make myself as small as possible.

“You’re just fucking stupid, aren’t you?” he spits toward me, as he brings his hand up to scratch at his chin.

“I’m sorry,” I say again, tears falling hot and fast down my cheeks. My head hurts from where he pulled my hair but I don’t dare try and rub the spot.

“You ugly fuck.” He aims a boot at my leg. The pain is instant and my leg feels like it’s shattered.
“Please, Daddy,” I beg again as I bury my face into my hands. But ‘please’ never seems to work.

Nothing does.

I’ve just got to take the beatings, because that’s what stupid, ugly twelve-year old girls do.

Purchase Links for Ugly

About the Author

Margaret McHeyzer

There’s something about the written word that is pure magic.

Possibly it’s the fact there are 26 letters in the English

alphabet, and they can create something so beautiful or so

empowering they’re capable to change our lives.

How important is it that we break suit and stretch our


I like to think of myself as ‘unique’. My stories aren’t for

everyone, and sometimes I may push what you believe to be


Normal is subjective.

I prefer to be known as a person who’s never been ‘bound by

custom’ but is ‘unique by choice’.

I hope you do read and enjoy my stories.

Author Links

**For warning**

Women who have been brought up to respect themselves and assert their independence think it's simple. Just walk out. But when your partner controls all the resources and you have been cut off from friends and family (if you have any), where do you go? What do you use for rent? For food? Shame and fear of judgment keep you from telling anyone what you've experienced. Fear of your partner keeps you from demanding better treatment.

Fear becomes your constant companion. Your life is governed by artificial rules set by your partner, which may change at a moment's notice. The rules are reinforced by brutal beatings and other physical abuse. You cling to the small kindnesses your partner may allow you. They tell you that whatever you suffer, it's your fault; you've brought it upon yourself.

Put yourself in the shoes of an abuse victim. Forget your bank accounts, your credit cards, your home and car. All you have are the clothes on your back. Where do you go for help? And what do you tell people when you ask for it? How will they react? You will be humiliated, there is no question of that. You will still live by someone else's rules. And if you're lucky, your partner won't find you before you get back on your feet.

You will need to work, and chances are you haven't been allowed enough education to qualify for more than clerking at a retail outlet. You cringe every time the door opens, afraid your partner will be the next person through the door, afraid they've finally found you and that this time, they may beat you to death.
The scenario is even worse if there are children involved. Think about how you would react in this situation. Can you understand how a family history of abuse can lead to future generations of abusive cycles? I'm not asking you to feel sympathy, although it would be difficult not to. I'm asking you to remember, abuse survivors have spent their time in hell. If you judge a survivor for living, then you're judgment is misplaced.

When you read Ugly, think about your loving family, and the support you have from them. And remember, Lily is not like you.

Gail's Review
I received this book from NetGalley for a honest review..
WOW just WOW. What a truly heart-wrenching and heartwarming story. I truly loved Lily's Story. Domestic Violence is a HUGE thing and it needs to have a end put to it.. With everything that Lily went thru from a very very early age she is truly a remarkable young woman. This book gave me the chills and I so just wanted to jump in the book and save her myself. I absolutely loved Shayne, Liam and especially Max. Dale and Peter were 2 amazing bosses too along with being amazing father figures to Lily.. Lily never knew how to love or what it felt like to be loved until all these amazing people came into her life. Trent on the other hand was a complete waste of a human. What he did to her was despicable. I am so glad he got what he deserved.

This book has some very serious triggers so please be forewarned.. This is my second book by Margaret McHeyzer.. The blurb and the cover just kept calling to me and I heard soooo many things about it.. I truly truly loved it.  Gail - Night and Day Book Blog ndbbr2014.blogsopt.com

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